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February 1, 2003

Happy Chinese New Year! < ....and a big THANKS out to Ali...! >

The festive dragon gave me this:
TODAY, at last, a long awaited breakthrough.
The PC and the imac are now sharing files and a broadband connection.

YAYYYYYYYY!!

It's about fucking time, I'll tell ya.

Someone here was pushing an aneurysm last night.

Whoooooo? That would be me. Of course.

Single handedly I disgorged every evil thought I'd ever had upon my PC. The venom that spewed in the room as I entertained the thought of smashing it to bits was torrential. The damage it did to M's psyche was SWEAR WORD OVERLOAD.

Alas, today is another day. And, while there is still plenty of time to screw things up later this month, today is GOOD.

Not simply any old GOOD. It's damn good.

After hours of browbeating and technical consulting.... at last. The computers are talking.

I was so close to just going out and buying another PC. So close. I do believe that I have convinced myself successfully. I now want another.

Moving onward.....

<<<< now.... how about my apparent neglect of this journal ? >>>>

Alright. I've been neglecting this space. I know. Yet, I have written a few things. Things I didn't have time to finish or post. Things I didn't make time for.

Writing is a commitment. Yeah. A commitment.

Does that mean that it's a relationship?

Hmmmmm. That could be the problem. I don't have a relationship with my writing. I'm not sure I ever did. I write when I have time and/or when I feel like it.

It seems that the mad handyma'am hasn't got her groove back - yet.

Do I get any credit for trying?

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OH YEAH..... some other stuff:

A little over a week ago, I got the chance to talk to a couple of people on the phone that I've been corresponding with for quite some time.

It was nice to finally put a voice to the exchange. Better yet was the fact that both of these people had the most charming accents. I'll tell ya this, on the opposite ends of the spectrum are a Texan and a Brit.

LOL! I'm still smiling....

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If you'd like their numbers, drop me a line.

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;^) LMAO!

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< not a chance in hell... >

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February 2, 2003

The house:
After another revision, we met with the potential builder last week and handed over the specs on the proposed addition. The short guy with the sharp features nodded often and took a few notes. I notice that his hat could be surgically attached to his head. It appears as tight as one of those latex bald caps you can stretch over your head to appear sans hairdo. I imagine him taking the plans home, taking off the cap and releasing blood to his brain, and figuring out what to potentially soak us.

The phone rings yesterday afternoon. Wow. Can you believe it? It isn't a solicitor. It's Dave the builder. The short guy with a great attitude. The one who steps sharply. Assertive and slightly bobble headed and robotic in his gait. OK. So.... he'll price out what you want. But.... he'll also figure the complete job.


< :::go Dave, go::: >

Mid conversation via phone, Dave asks.... "so.... ummmm.... is there.... is there a ballpark figure you want to stay around?" This, after clarifying a few details. And, the sentence began rather stilted, but.... gained momentum while he got to the point. His voice sped up the last 7 words. Like he'd practiced. Yet he still sounded nervous.

I'm thinking....WTF! Alright. Wait a minute. Am I in a lot full of new automobiles? Isn't this reminiscent of something? It sure is. The slick sales line. The attempt to glean information. Like, what's your budget? How much can I get? And, I'm still thinking... how much can we get done and have something left over.... how much will he do and at what cost.... show me the breakdown and we'll give you the lowdown.

I laugh. "Do you have a number for me? LOL.... come on Dave! Give me something to think about."

Dave's voice portrayed a big ass grin on the other end of the line. He understood where we stood. By his own doing, we were engaged in a game of cat and mouse created by a sentence he uttered over the phone. We stood in the same place as hello. 'Cept we were grinning.

See you next week Dave.

Another dark day in future history booksover the weekend: Disaster. The space shuttle. Disintegrates upon reentry. Seven astronauts die. The craft failed.

Debris is scattered across Texas and parts of Louisiana. Nacogdoches, Texas is particularly strewn with wreckage from the Columbia shuttle. Human remains and pieces of the craft are being recovered. Oddly enough, Nacogdoches is the only town in Texas I ever spent the night.

I feel awful about the catastrophe that has befallen us as a Nation. Add this to other things I attempt to keep in the shadows. It's ugly there. Of course, Saddam assumes this is how God is punishing us. And, we are quick to declare that the disaster wasn't an act of terrorism. Since September 11.... tragedy has taken on new proportions. The new paranoia.

Yet, most of us do not know war. We don't know what it would be like to live, or attempt to live, while our city is being bombed. We don't know what it's like to try to sleep through the night with the flash and rumble of aerial bombings.

We don't know the sounds of war. The feel of war. The smell of war.

We don't know what it is like to lose our loved ones to the enemy. Or, to flee from them.

Still.... I can imagine the fear and sheer horror of war.

I've seen moving images. Motion pictures of war. I've seen dramatic recreations of war. The machine that feeds us a steady diet of tabloid propaganda also serves up documented reality from time to time.

OHGOD. Yes.... I've seen the news flashes. The bloodied, stacked bodies. Sometimes pictured laying on sidewalks and in the streets. Sometimes gunned down the vehicles. The injured and the grieving wailing. Children reaching or, or hiding.

I don't want to imagine it. But, sometimes an imagination has a life of its own. Especially when we have troops in position and seem to be trigger happy.

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Apparently, I could testify before congress.

I have not reached the point of entire desensitization.

February 13, 2003

lets start off with some potential good news:
A few weeks ago, a book I ordered for M arrived. "The Allergy & Asthma Cure: A Complete 8 step Nutritional Program" by Dr. Fred Pescatore. Mr. Pescatore has a very unique way of looking at the allergy and asthma connection, where he integrates alternative and traditional treatments in his explanation of the program. It caught my eye, so I ordered it prior to publishing sometime before Christmas.

here's what they say about Dr. Fred:

Fred Pescatore, M.D., M.P.H. is a traditionally trained physician who has chosen to practice integrative medicine as a means of treating his patients in a progressive and effective way.

Dr. Pescatore received his medical degree from the American University of the Caribbean School of Medicine. His traditional medical knowledge comes from his training at three of New York's preeminent teaching hospitals: St. Vincent's, Mount Sinai Medical Center and St. Luke's/Roosevelt Hospital Center.

While studying for a Master's degree in Public Health at Columbia University and traveling extensively throughout Asia and India, Dr. Pescatore trained with practitioners who specialize in alternative healing techniques.

After working alongside Dr. Robert C. Atkins as Associate Medical Director of the Atkins Center, a world-renowned center for complementary medicine, Dr. Pescatore opened the Centers for Integrative and Complementary Medicine, with offices in New York and Dallas.

In his daily practice, Dr. Pescatore treats patients with illnesses ranging from diabetes, heart disease, hepatitis, AIDS and life-threatening cancers, to more daily concerns such as diet and nutrition, by combining alternative and traditional Western medicine and orchestrating all the healing arts for the benefit of the patient.

In addition to his private practice, Dr. Pescatore also serves as Medical Director of the Active Hexose Correlated Compound Research Association headquartered in Rye, New York.

Anyway.... she began the diet last Saturday. Had to give up sugars and anything containing yeast. Mainly, the diet consists of eating vegetables and protein.

Anyway..... last evening, she blew into her peak flow meter and it hit 400! Wow. I was astonished. Prior to that, she'd been hitting the 300 range, and topping out at 350.
So, here we are now.... hopeful that this will change her life and help her breathing. Of course, it's early in the program but.... it looks hopeful. Actually, I wasn't expecting an immediate response. Yet, it seems to be there. Her wheezing and coughing has virtually disappeared, seemingly overnight. Placebo effect? Wishful thinking? I hope not.

Our hope is that this path to wellness continues, and, that M can manage these health problems without ending up in the hospital and/or taking high doses of steroids. Over the long haul, the traditional modern medicine only approach will only do more harm than good.

the 2003 building project:
We met with Dave and all I can tell ya is that building is damn expensive! The bid came in a little higher than we'd anticipated, so.... we told him to bring it down to around 65,000. He didn't seem to think that was a problem, as his response was, "I want to work and I want this job."

How convenient is that? Very. Especially since we also want him to have the job.

65-70 thousand isn't bad for a 30x40 structure that will have 9 foot poured basement walls along with 9 foot walls on the main level. The siding on the main house is high end and expensive, and, the shingles are about 75 bucks a square. Those two things added much to the cost of the building, along with all of the Andersen Windows. On the other hand, it seems excessive when you realize that you have no wiring, lighting, heating, cooling, plumbing, insulation, drywall, interior doors, flooring, fixtures and trim.

Nevertheless, we've decide to take it on. Even if it takes longer to get things together. Yes. This is what can happen when you can't settle for less in the long run. You end up with more work. That's OK. It's fine really. We should safely be complete by the time retirement rolls around. Oh.... WAIT. Probably sooner. Yes. Much sooner. The kids want basement bedrooms. It'll have to be sooner.

Then, I can die. But.... in the meantime:
I'm looking forward to developing a wiring plan and adding structured network wiring. That'll be cool after some brain-busting and a plan is devised. Most new homes now are wired. Complete with fiber optic cable geared toward the future. Of course this is helpful because I'd like to think there is a future. You know. Imagine that there is. This is the step on the other side of assumption. And, if M's health improves and stabilizes.... imagining a real future seems possible.

Can ya tell I am tentatively happy about that?

I most certainly am.

February 21, 2003

The day before yesterday was the first day we've had above freezing in weeks. Today and tomorrow we will have a repeat performance. Then, we switch hit back to freezing. If you can believe the forecasts, it may be snowing this weekend. That would muck up plans to work outside. I suppose we'll wait and see. The forecasters often seem to have their heads up their asses. Now they are calling for snow over the weekend.

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>>>>>> spotlight on: - weird e-mail of the month - maybe the year <<<<<<<<<

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Madhandy,

Hi. Remember me? I first wrote you about a year ago. You wrote me back 4 times and I have not heard from you since. I miss your letters.

If I was with you I'd tell you that I like to be made to obey and when I'm in public I'm a strong, independent woman. I'm not looking for a typical master/slave situation, so don't try to change my mind. I will obey in private and when I don't, I will need punishing.

Come to me. I am waiting for youre touch. Only you. Do not hesitate another day. Wear your boots.

Mia

LMAO! WTF? Hmmmmm...... do I know you? I think not. Will I write back to you? Only here. But, if you were nearby.... there are days when I could dole out a proper ass thrashing. Yet, since you would apparently like it, I think not.

You miss my letters? Hah.
Then take these and arrange them into something meaningful:

O - U - F - K - F - C - F

Mia.... on second thought, if you are somebody I actually know ....I will gladly kick your tail. With my boots.

<<<<<< and this is why I refuse to have a guestbook >>>>>>

Yeah. Having a website occasionally gets you an errant email here and there. For the most part, the people who take the time to write are overwhelmingly cool. And, I've made a few friends along the way. Then this shit comes up.

Enough of that.....

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M's health
She's going strong. While I still feel like I'm walking on eggshells in regard to her allergies and asthma, all seems to be going well. Now, how long will it be before I am not worried about this? I don't know, but... I'll be happy when the day arrives that I feel I am past it.

Sleep
What in the hell is that? I'm back to my former insomnia driven self. This week I averaged about 5 hours of sleep a night. Previously, I thought I had found the perfect panacea in Benadryl. While it worked for a while, it began to give me a wired up effect. Imagine a wired up effect coupled with an absentminded undertone. And exceedingly sluggish for the first half of the day. Not good. I dropped that shit like a bad habit. No way am I going back there. But, here I am back at square one again. Today I feel pretty damn good despite the slumber deprivation. With the Benadryl though.... I wouldn't feel safe on a ladder, let alone with power tools. We can't have that. No way.

M told Michael that I have insomnia and he understood it perfectly. Without explanation past the fat that I am up until 1 a.m. most nights. But when he repeated it, he called it INZOMBIA.... and illustrated his knowledge of it by walking like a drugged 8 year old zombie child.

Kids are soooooooo much fun.

The upcoming construction project
Dave the builder will be getting back with us sometime next week. Hopefully, we'll get this going relatively soon. And, this time.... I'll document it with pictures as we go. Just so you can see the mess we are in. I can envision a huge hill of dirt from the basement excavation. But, we have plenty of places to use the soil to landscape and fill in some low spots. Methinks the builder wanted to haul some away for fill on his project - he is building a new house - because he brought it up several times now and mentioned that he can haul it away. Not! Hell.... I've ordered dirt plenty of times in the past. And, M and I have been talking about building some raised beds for gardening. That's so when we get old and riddled with arthritis, we won't have to bend over so far to pull weeds. LOL. Plus we'll have more obstacles in the yard to smash into with the rider.

Planning
Just like planning for the raised gardening beds, I spend much of my time planning. Planning and plotting. When I am not doing either one of those things, I'm sloughing off. Shirking responsibilities. Often in a catatonic state watching such cerebral fare as Joe Millionaire, the Bachelorette, Survivor or... some other media drivel. LOL.... ya can't think too much all of the time ya know. It hurts your head. And, I've needed distractions lately from the ever increasing reality of war. Something I am not comfortable with at all.

Duct tape and plastic
Are you buying into this and building a false sense of security with these items? I sure as hell am not. What a crock of shit that is anyway. And, who will be the first to die in a room cordoned off like this? I am surprised that our government is promoting such a thing. Have they cited a legal disclaimer? After all, have they paid no attention to plastic bags stamped, "THIS IS NOT A TOY".... in other words, don't put your head in a plastic bag - ya might suffocate. OK. Choices. Plastic bag on ya head or biological weapon. OK. OK. I see the point now. Plastic bag on the head it is. Why that choice? Hmmmm.... I suppose that the biological agent is dispersed in the air. Unless the wind never blows where you live, you may survive after emerging from your duct tape and plastic room. Although, you may have to stumble over the bodies of your neighbors. Ha. I'm going for quality of life. Quantity is something else entirely. In my estimation, a terrorist faction would have better luck poisoning a community entirely through the water supply. THAT could happen. Am I worried? No. I'm not giving into that type of mental paralyzation. They can take me but they cannot take my heart and soul.

The weekend
Tomorrow we plan to take a trip to the local building supply center. The big warehouse kind. The one with so much stuff in it that, if I am in a peculiar mood, I want to bolt for the door upon entering the visual fray. But, we are on a mission with the boys in tow. It's no time to be freaking out. Plus, we've got plenty on the "to buy" list for the new addition. I'm hoping to concentrate on electrical stuff. Boxes, switches, dimmers, receptacles, wire nuts and.... maybe some wire and more recessed fixtures. Yet, who knows. Sometimes when I get in one of those stores.... anything can happen. PLUS.... we could always see something that we know we want and or need eventually, and.... just get it.

Tools
Tonight I arrived home and in less than an hour I spent a few hundred bucks at harborfreight.com. They had an air framing nailer at a great price. Hell.... for as much building as I've done, you'd think that by now I'd already have one of these. But.... I didn't. So.... it'll help in building the interior stuff and whatever else may happen in the future as far as outdoor projects go. I had previously wanted to buy a Senco framing nailer.... < because I am like that once the idea is ingrained in my head > but, this particular nailer was half of the price of the pricey Senco framing nailer. Impulsively, I logged on and snapped it up. Along with, a new manual tile cutter, an electrical multi-tester, and nails for the air gun.

Music
When you're working on a project, ya gotta have music. Upon my arrival home today, my new DeWalt Radio had come. I was geeked. And, it also does double duty in charging the batteries for my DeWalt drill. Plus.... if power isn't available where you are working.... it runs off the rechargeable battery.

Add that to the inventory. Next, we'll build a warehouse. Nah. I'm gonna find something else to do someday. Like what?

Who in the hell knows where life will lead me.

 
 

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