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Damn. June already!
The kids are done with school for the summer on Friday. M goes a week longer.
This is the time of year that I wish I had gone into the teaching profession, if only to have the summer break. Instead I have connived my boss into allowing me to work 3 ten hour days a week for the summer. Woooooooo! I am certainly looking forward to that. Besides, that will allow me time to get things done around home, PLUS..... have some fun as well. I do need that balance.
M is still wrestling with a cold she acquired from the kids. With her immune system down she can't shake it off as quickly as she'd like. BUT.... as a side note.... M got her first year teaching evaluation and it was absolutely glowing. Despite her unavoidable health issues, the autistic kids she was assigned have made tremendous strides. Most astonishing because the students were some of the most troubled. AND, a few of the parents of the students were nearly impossible to deal with by teachers and administrators in years past. M comes in and her calm demeanor and structured teaching method won over the students and the difficult parents along with the school administrators.
As an outsider looking in, it seems as thought the "difficult" parents were a direct result of too many teachers being nothing more than glorified baby sitters for the students. The children were learning little to nothing and, were regularly watching movies during school hours. That isn't providing the children the structure and interaction they require to thrive. Yet, this seems to be a commonplace activity in many of the classrooms. M's approach clearly stands out. The administrators have taken noticed. Yes! She got a fabulous review despite her intermittent health problems which kept her away from school more than she would have liked. Am I surprised? Hell no. She is good at what she does and she always has the best interests of the children at heart. If I had an autistic child, I would love to have a teacher like her.
I'm very proud of ya M!
At the house....
Puttering along.
Have a few changes to make in some of the electrical runs before we can start pulling wire. Since we decided not to hang wall cabinets in the kitchen area, I need to move 3 recessed lights over. At least I caught that upon a walk-through inspection last evening. The work that would have entailed after the fact would have pissed me off. At myself of course.
The kids....
The boys are playing softball in the community league. 5 to 8 years olds on the teams. Puts them at the top of the age bracket. The first game was Tuesday night at a rural school not far from the house. Of course, they were excited about the game.
I took Tasha with us on a leash. She is good going places and doesn't mind the tether once she knows we are going in the vehicle. With her panting away behind my head, we drive in the direction of the old elementary school surrounded by farm fields. Once I get outside with the dog on the leash, she wants to travel. Damn. Pull in the direction of the grass. Wait up for me.
The old school yard has two ball diamonds. Ball diamond which are blooming in dusty glory today. Gray wooden benches with swayback seats. Archaic rickety bleachers. We opt for a blanket on the ground. The wind blowing at out backs.
It took 5 minutes from the point that we sat down on the ground that Tasha decides she is a 70 pound lap dog. Once she realizes that she is at your level, her tail wags and your face looks like a popsicle. KNOCK IT OFF.... I try to tell her quietly to her still panting muzzle. WATCH THE GAME! Not a chance in hell. She proceeded to be intermittently annoying throughout the next hour and a half.
Some watchdog she is. She didn't even notice that they won the game.
Began to run some wiring in the main floor of the addition yesterday. The goal here is to get, at least, two circuits pulled and mapped out by Monday night. Has promise and looks possible.
EXCEPT THAT....
We are in possession of two sick kids = strep throat in da house people. While I thought that tomorrow would be my last Monday home alone.... that idea was just that.... an idea. And, as ideas go.... whether they are burned in your mind or drawn upon paper.... as you know, they are often subject to change.
Shit happens. Standard idea disclaimer.
Ever notice repeating patterns in life?
Ahhhhhh..... first cup of coffee is now resting near the mouse. After not drinking any coffee during the weekend I am long overdue. My weekend was decaf - NO coffee. Why? I dunno. It's one of those unexplained mysteries. Wasn't like I was trying to hurt myself. Sometimes it happens that way.
The wiring. Ugh. All of that stuff is out there waiting for me.
"More coffee, please."
Wonders if I'll feel like it after a self indulgent Java spree. Hmmmm. So far, nothing. No compelling force driving me out there yet.
Later in the day....
After a slow start.... by 8 p.m. I had the third circuit started. Hang it up for now.
June 10, 2003
The familiar driver of the UPS truck said, "now I HAVE brought you everything. Even the kitchen sink."
Very true. The kitchen sink was delivered today.
My mind wanders.
I barely noticed the coming of spring this year. Maybe I've just been in the house too much. Maybe I've had other things on my mind. I mean, I NOTICED it..... but not quite like years past. When the unfolding would be cause for celebration. When the green touched my spirit. When joy flooded through me. When I felt awakened from a deep slumber. When spring hit me like BAM!
No. It didn't actually happen this year. But, today I noticed full grown new leaves coming off the trees in droves. The wind bent and swayed the treetops like they were animated. They succumbed to the wind and released leaves that would spiral away from the trees and litter the ground. Some of them flew fantastically. Like they were propelled by there own power.... racing towards the sky once, twice, three times before tumbling rhythmically to the earth. The wind then blowing them along the ground up near the kennel fence and the edge of the field. Matting them there like a patchwork quilt. Back the earth where they belong.
Yet in all this momentary wonderment, which occurred in a virtual flash.... I found myself more concerned with what may be clogging the gutters. Subsequently wondering if I'd feel safe enough on the extension ladder to clean them out. Thinking I would not. Standing on the uncomfortable rungs of the aluminum ladder and drilling holes outside for wiring was demanding enough. Twice I nearly fell as the ladder wasn't situated on backfilled soil that was terra firma. It takes time for things to settle after an excavation. Best not to be to be on a very tall ladder looking down and home alone when you notice these things.
Another day in the life of a woman with far too many things on her mind. Most of which would take pages to get out there. I haven't the energy or inclination this evening.
BLAH.
Ahhhhhh.... sweet happy life.
I arrived home yesterday to two smiling strangers standing in my driveway. I waved at them as I pulled in and parked.
After realizing the old truck that has been sitting in the yard needed way too much work to become structurally sound, the idea of turning it into a art car this summer quickly faded. The plan was to give it to my niece who is getting her driver's license this summer. But, after my brother and I inspected the undercarriage, it didn't take long to realize that all of the floorboards needed reinforcement, among other things. Although it would have been fun to do the project, we had some serious questions as to the safety of the 16 year old vehicle due to the rust rot.
A few people told me I should sell it. One of my friends said, "if it runs and you can drive it, you can get at least 600 bucks for it, maybe more." Hmmmmm. Probably. BUT.... unless someone could give it the care it needed, I felt it would be unsafe. It didn't take long to decide I would not sell it. The thought of selling it made me feel uneasy. The engine had just under 75,000 original miles on it.... but, the body was deteriorating.
Instead, I gave it away last night to a down and out local handyman. The guy was so thrilled to get it he looked like he was gonna cry. I told him everything that I felt was wrong with it and he said, "oh.... I can take care of that.... I can fix that". The dude was beaming like he just got the greatest gift. He couldn't believe that I was giving it to him no strings attached. His voice rose with excitement as he told me, "now I can haul my tools and things around so much easier. I cannot tell you how much this means to me. Thank you so much."
Giving him that truck was exactly what should have happened. As a firm believer in what goes around comes around, now he will be able to be helpful to other people. A definite plus.
Had I walked away from that transaction with cash in hand, I could not have felt any better than this. I am still smiling about it today.
It was by far the right thing to do.
::: pass it around :::
I could have schlepped in late today. The boss is on vacation.
Instead, I arrived an hour and a half before the rest of the staff. Another day down in the hole I call the office. While working in the basement has it's advantages.... it has disadvantages too.
Mostly, I'd rather be at home working on the house. It's on the current obsession list.
Last Monday, a guy from the gas company stopped in. I had called them about 10 days ago and left a message on their answering machine. I heard nothing at all from them until the truck pulled into the driveway and the big guy hopped out.
It was hot. The guy was sweating profusely and dabbing his forehead with a dingy handkerchief. He drove a company truck with a logo, but, he wore street clothes. Frumpy like they were taken out of the dirty clothes basket. Actually, he looked much like Captain Kangaroo with collagen injected lips. Teeth stained from chewing tobacco. Got the picture now?
The object here was to get an estimate on installing a natural gas line from the main to the addition.
The polyethylene pipe will run underground and connects to 2 risers. The polyethylene
itself must be buried 16 inches deep and not be exposed to the sunlight. We
have 100 feet separating the main coming in and the run to the addition. Will
we trench the run ourselves? Possibly. BUT, if the heating and cooling guys
can do it, we shall see. If we trench the 100 feet ourselves, it looks like
it'll cost about 400 bucks. I don't want to dig a trench that damn big.
Moments ago, I called a local heating/cooling contractor and now have an appointment for them to come out and make a bid on the new system. They'll be out on Monday between 10-12. I'm expecting this part of the building to cost around 8 to 10 thousand. We shall see. The best case scenario will be at the bottom end.
Better yet - under my guesstimate.
Yeah. I have certainly been slacking again when it comes to my journal.
Go ahead and spank me.
The biggest problem here is finding the time to write. And, it isn't all because of the giant project going on here. A part of it is that I most often wrote at night and now that keeps M awake. Obviously, I should not have moved the computer into the room next to the bedroom. Bad maneuver. Very bad.
She sleeps and I don't. I am generally awake for hours after she goes to sleep. My not sleeping is disturbing her sleep. So, the addition will be helpful when it comes to that. The two ends of the house are so far removed from one another that I will not wake her with my nocturnal restlessness.
Back to the grind today. I am gearing up for the heating and cooling people to come out by drinking copious amounts of the most wonderful coffee. I have been purposely slowing down on drinking coffee because I felt like it was disturbing my sleep, but.... I don't believe that is the case. This is just how I am. I have moments where it is better and then I am right back at it again. It seems to be written in the story of my life. Seems that anything I have found to "make it better" only works short term.
12:30 after the meeting with the heating/cooling guy....
Things went smoothly. Tim was alright. Laid back and with the company for 20 years. Lanky, salt and pepper moustache, glasses and jagged front teeth. He was quick to smile and friendly. I had a good feeling about him from the moment he introduced himself and extended his hand. "Hi.... I'm Tim," he stated, although his name was clearly embroidered on his company shirt.
The placement I had figured for the furnace in the basement was correct and, he was happy to see that I had a copy of the floor plan for him. And, the day before I had marked the upstairs floor for preferred placement of the ducts, also helpful to prepare the bid. I handed him an orange marker to mark on the floor plan the location of vents and cold air returns.
The company can also run the gas line to the house, although he warned me that they may be more expensive in that area than the natural gas supplier. Even so, I'd rather one company did the entire job. No sense in pissing around with more people than necessary to get the job done. Of course, if the quote for that aspect of the job is ridiculous, that wouldn't make much sense. Yet, the preferred method would just be to hire them to complete the entire package.
The HVAC system we are looking at will consist of a Lennox System with an AFUE of 90+. Along with a central air conditioning unit which will sit outdoors on a cement pad.
not-so-secret decoder:
AFUE
Stands for Annual Fuel Utilization Efficiency. The AFUE number represents how
efficiently a furnace converts fuel to energy. The higher the AFUE percentage,
the more energy-efficient or fuel-efficient the furnace. The U.S. government's
established minimum AFUE rating for a furnace is 78 percent.
Now ya know.
The electrical is going slower than I had thought it would. Damn. Frustrating.
But, I laughed my ass off yesterday when I counted the electrical receptacles on the first floor of the house. Count 'em! Sixty-fuckin'-three. Sixty-three dual receptacles. And, lights.... thirty-four, of course.... 8 of those 34 are on the outside of the house. LOL!
We gonna be lit.
That is sooooooo nuts.
My electrician never made it out over the weekend. I wanted to ask him a few questions and have him check my work for glaring errors before I pulled the permit to get the rough electrical inspection. He thought he could make it out, but.... things come up and we had not set anything firm. Whenever it is convenient for him is fine with me. Of course.... I had HOPED it would have been over the weekend but, I am sure I'll see him soon. Besides.... it's not like there's nothing else to do.
In fact, if I spent time telling you everything else that was going on around here.... as in multiple projects.... you might fall asleep. Not to mention, the monumental effect this long winded explanation would have on my brain. It could create a snowball effect. I could easily become overwhelmed by the massive undertaking if I wrote it down. That would make it real. Along with, real complicated.
::: as I pretend not to notice it is :::
Yes, it is a virtual labyrinth when taken in as a whole.
::: insert a very deep breath and look for a distraction quickly :::
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<<< gear switching sound >>>
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lets go off and drag the river of this month....
Other stuff:
M's health....
After coming off high doses of the
steroid prednisone, M has suffered some nasty side
effects.
30 mg a day for more than a month. She said coming felt like 100 times worse than bad PMS. Without adding the hellish details, I can vouch for this ugly truth. And, I can tell that she still doesn't feel quite right. But, she is getting better.
M said that she actually felt possessed. And, about that..... all I can say is that if I would have thought an exorcist would have helped, I would have tracked one down.
It's difficult to see this person you know as generally sweet become a stranger. The experience caused us some major strife for the first time in our relationship. But.... I know that this wasn't her fault. Still, the person looked just like her. Didn't act at all like her though. I didn't know what hit me. Or her. M feels terrible about everything and, well.... so do I. It scared me. It scared her, too.
I hate fucking asthma. I cannot say that enough. And the steroids, too.
So.... my reaction to this is what? My reaction is to distance myself. Throw myself into work. And, distancing myself is the very last thing she wants and/or needs. Yet, I cannot help it. I really freaked me out. It's not like I am not talking to her, I am. But, I feel remote to protect myself. Damn. I have been there before. As a kid I learned that. Seems it's like riding a bike. Ya don't forget.
Because of my reaction, M is freaked out. She is afraid of losing me.
The last time I checked, I wasn't going anywhere.
But, I totally admit that I am afraid of losing her as well. The asthma she has isn't the sort of thing that a few puffs of an inhaler will help. She has been here nearly a year now and was hospitalized twice. Transported by ambulance twice. That is too fucking real. I am very intimidated by the future.
So, I work harder to compensate.
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