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March 6, 2002

I know - I know - I know. I've been quieter than usual lately. But, at home... I've been making plenty of noise. Besides... sometimes I get rattling on enough here to drive you and me crazy. Don't panic... it's only a slight break.

What in the hell have I been doing?
I spent last weekend finishing the prep work on the addition. The electrical is complete, the insulation is in, and the room has been completely covered in plastic. After a little clean up and some last minute checking and stud marking... it'll be drywalled. Of course, I have no intention of doing anything else in that arena until I return from my upcoming trip to see M and the boys. I'll put the thought of even ordering drywall out of my head until then.

The general theme of life is still centered around organizing and reorganizing. That is, when I'm not creating construction related messes.

< here's a picture of the courtyard taken over the weekend... proof that snow can be quite lovely!

When I'm not working on things at home, I'm entirely distracted by the Jeep I recently purchased < Woooooo hoooooo!!! I even went 4-wheeling in the snow over the weekend! >. Already, I've amassed a wide variety of net sites devoted to Jeepers, and I'm currently in possession of several part and accessory catalogs. I'm dreaming of what I'll do with it. I'm nearly afraid of that because... well, I know me all too well. I'll be diverting some time and money to that. No doubt. < I'm only SLIGHTLY annoyed at another line of thinking entering the picture >

Meanwhile, along with these 10 hour days at the office this week, I've got plenty to do. Maybe I ought to begin packing for the trip since I leave on Saturday. Yeah. That might be a good idea. And do some laundry, too. I should do that.

Yep. I sure am looking forward to spending some quality time away from all of this work. After the last travel debacle, it'll be nice to be with my family again.

It'll be great to actually see my M !

I am soooo tired of being on the phone! There's nothing quite like being tethered to your devices. But, when that's all you have... you utilize those devices to the nth degree. Still, nothing beats being there. Nothing.

OK.... gotta go....

.... gotta get my ass packing.

March 8, 2002

OHMYGOD.

I can hardly think. Yes... it's surely happening again. This is what always happens right before I leave to see them. I go a little crazy. I mean, a LOT crazy.

< don't comment on that, eh? >

It's only been a little over 2 months since I was there. Today, it seems like an eternity. OK... a small eternity. That part never gets easier. Actually, it's been harder every time. This is my, what... 5th trip there since last February 9th. And, they were here last summer for 16 days.

Shit. I don't mind being a frequent flyer. But, I'm relieved to know this is incidental to the fact she isn't employed here yet. That'll change all that. And then, the only thing I'll be flying will be the coop now and then. Predominantly speaking . . . . ;^)

It's strange when I think about how my life has evolved. I would have never guessed any of this. But, I wouldn't change it either. Even though the situation is currently not what I'd call ideal. The distance thing sucks. It sucks despite the fact it is giving both of us time to prepare for the inevitable combining of households and lives.

Hmmmmm....OK now I'm wondering...
.... when do you think we should start getting scared?

When things are meant to happen in your life, they have this way of somehow falling into place. Click - click - they fit. And, some things just find you. More often, when you aren't looking. It's true. And DAMN... considering all of the bullshit in the world - it sure is nice when good things materialize. I have to admit that a part of me feels fully justified in this happiness today, in part, because of all of the bullshit I've had to wade through to get here. Not because I felt like it was somehow "owed" to me, but - because it's so much nicer to be going somewhere other than climbing another pile of shit.

Wading through rough times weighs heavy on your heart, unfortunately - none of us are immune to the despair life can encompass. I'm euphoric over the fact I've found a rainbow! Maybe I don't sound so excited about it because you are reading these words. If you could hear my enunciation and the inflection in my voice, you'd know that jubilant vocalization even if you didn't hear what I said. And, it would slap a smirk right on your face. Just like < insert finger snap here > that.

And, before you know it... you see where you are and the transformation is amazing. You see yourself in a new light. You see yourself IN the light < light hearted, lights on, lights out, and... light headed... >.

There's only a couple of reactions you can have to that realization. One of them is being happily surprised and thankful. The other is, "WHAT IN THE...?" Like someone whipped a brick at ya or something.

I'm a little of both.

RIGHT NOW I am just as giddy about seeing them as every other time. I can't think worth a shit tonight, but - I know I shouldn't be sitting here at the keyboard...

... alright... gotta go. Have tons to do before leaving.

GOODGOD!

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I don't even know what I'll be wearing!

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Of course, I'll write after I get back.

March 18, 2002

I'm back and happy to report I had the most wonderful time!

Hah. You knew I would. You knew because you possess such fine extrasensory perception. No.... wait.... OK: admit it.... you knew because you have been secretly reading this journal and you deduced nothing could have been worse considering the last visit.

Once again, you are right.

That is, if you don't count all of the trouble it was getting out there in the first place.

I left the house shortly before 3 in the afternoon last Saturday. Before leaving, I was so scatterbrained that I accidentally left the water running in the kitchen sink and it overflowed onto the floor. It took about 6 full size towels to clean up the mess. Never have I done anything that stupid. OK... ummm... scratch that. But, never have I done THAT. Ever.

My sis picked me up and dropped me off at the door of the airport. I arrived early due the security checks and had about an hour and a half to wait. I waited and walked and waited and walked... a half hour before departure, the monitors showed that the plane was delayed. OK. This happens all of the time. The plane was delayed once. Twice. Three times. The departure gate was changed and the group moved downstairs. Another delay and then, the flight was cancelled.

Everyone heeded the announcements on the overhead speakers and herded back to the conveyor to pick up our checked in luggage. Now I had that damn suitcase back and headed over to the corralled check-in line again for a flight rearrangement. OHMYGOD. I have to get there.

After several minutes of waiting, it's my turn amongst the frazzled passenger wannabes. I kept my cool and after a few minutes of talking to the woman behind the desk, she informed me that there was a different flight out to a different terminal that I could board. She wasn't supposed to do it, but - she put me in first class for the trip out. Not bad for a cheap ticket I bought via hotwire. Then.... the computer made a beep, she made a face and then she told me my luggage had to be searched. She yells over to another woman who took me in a room behind the counter area and the bag search began. Essentially, she took everything out of my bag that I had neatly packed and crammed it back in after the other woman poked her head in the room, handed me my tickets and told her to hurry so the bag didn't miss the plane. I didn't care as long as I got there.

The plane left on time, and here I was sitting in first class headed for Minneapolis. The steward handed me a courvoisier on the rocks in a real glass. As I sipped it, I wondered why it wasn't OK to bring my tweezers, but it was alright to give me a glass. Hmmmmm.

The trip diversion to Minneapolis was fine. I called M once I arrived. I had another hour and a half to wait so I wandered around the shops in the airport and talked to strangers. Then... the monitors reflected another delay. I called M again. Looks like I won't arrive on time there. Stay tuned and I'll keep ya posted. Damn. More walking and more talking to strangers. Additional delays in the departure time and additional telephone calls to M. After waiting 4 hours longer than I had anticipated, the announcement came. There would be no flight tonight. All 300 plus passengers are going to be put up in the Marriot for the night. I was disappointed but kept my cool. Getting pissed off at this point wouldn't change a thing. Instead, I listened to other people bitching. Everyone in the place seemed to have a cell phone. What in the hell did we ever do without these things?

So.... after freezing my ass off near the front door with the mob that would be my fellow passengers in the morning, the first bus of 5 arrived to shuttle us to the hotel. I was on the first bus and I still stood in line at the hotel for an hour and a half. By the time I got a key to the room, in 3 ½ hours I would be getting up to catch the bus again to go back to the airport and wait another 2 hours for the flight. Waiting and walking... waiting and waiting. Time couldn't pass fast enough.

I was totally burned out by the time I arrived. But... it was so good to see them. They were all tired, too. Nobody got much sleep the night before. The bummer there being that it put a big dent into the first day I arrived because we were all so damn tired. Yep. I was tired, but... do you think I could sleep once I got there? Of course not. So, as the day progressed.... practically everything was hilarious. The end result was that we lost a day.

Otherwise my sleeping pattern was surprisingly good. No insomnia at all. Hard to believe really, especially given my sleep pattern, or, I should say, my general lack thereof. I was sleeping 7 to 8 hours a night there with M and I can't recall the last time that happened several days in a row. Probably when I was sick. No probably the last time I was with her.

It was a tremendous event just to hang out with them and spend some quality time. I can't imagine how my Aunt would have completely flipped out over the diverted and delayed trip out there. I would have been stressed to the max by the time I arrived if she would have been with me. Thank God I was traveling alone.

So.... what did we do? Oh... let's see... we bought and planted flowers in the yard, and we sorted and rearranged some things out in the garage. I repaired some things: a closet door, secured a free-standing cement block wall, fixed a cord wind-up mechanism on a vacuum cleaner and... did some little miscellaneous things. While M felt I shouldn't be out there working on my vacation... I really didn't feel like I was slaving all that much. My slaving begins again now that I'm home. That's another story. Actually, it's the same story. The continuation of the saga with an acceleration factor.

We talked about out future together. About how different our lives will be. We played with the kids. Cruised a few thrift shops. We went out to eat a few times and, one night, we met one of M's friends for dinner. All in all... it was a great trip. Again, I didn't want to leave.

Shortly before my departure, M got a call from her brother out in Virginia. It seems that he wants to move back to Arizona, and, there is a high possibility that he will buy the house. We are both excited about that because it could cut out a ton of red tape. And, it would make it easier to leave knowing the house was still in the family. Plus, the cupboards and fridge wouldn't have to be emptied... and, some furniture and odds and ends could be left there for him, too. So... if this occurs, it would be one more thing falling into place. Of course, all of this hinges on getting a job here first. But, when things are meant to happen... they generally begin to fall into place just like that.

Now here's where the journal becomes disjointed... I'll skip back.
After we returned from a morning trip to the local home center to get plants for the yard, we parked in the garage and the kids helped to unload the van. 7 year old Kyle was standing near the van with something in his hand when he said, "...where in the HELL do I put this?" OHMYGOD I wanted to laugh out loud, but... of course, I didn't. M quickly countered with, "WHERE did you hear THAT?" For a flash I was mortified thinking he was gonna say he heard it from me < LOL > but, he said he didn't know where he heard it.

Neither of these 7 year old boys know "bad" words... I know they don't because after that, I asked them to tell me every bad word they knew... that it was OK to say it just once. They couldn't come up with a single thing other than... "shut up" and some other innocuous terms. At 7, they really didn't know other swear words. Unlike my sister's kids who know practically every swear word in the book... and know how to use them, too. Which brings up another problem, once the kids get here and begin to mingle. That is the LAST thing I want to hear is that they've taught them anything of the sort. But, I've already warned them that they'd better not give them the info because they don't know those words and if they learn them, I'll know exactly where they came from. They only smiled when I issued this warning. No doubt, I will end up repeating myself when I know they are ready to move.

The word HELL isn't a "bad" word per se. I mean, what church can you walk into where you won't hear it? But, when it comes out of a 7 year old mouth just like nothing and used the way he used it, you sure wouldn't want him saying this at school or in public in a nonchalant manner. So, the end result was M giving him a slight lecture.

Later, we were in the kitchen when he announced, "I don't know what the HELL I am doing." I stifled a smile over his proficient use of this new word. M had a smirk on her face as well but quickly hid it as he was banished momentarily from the room.

Sooner or later, all kids learn these words. While I learned many at home, most I learned from school. These days I'd say it's uncommon for a kid even at 7 NOT to know a handful of curse words. I've heard kids that were just learning to speak say, "shit" and "fuck" as easily as they said "hi." I can hardly wait for the day when they come home and ask, "...what does FUCK mean?" I'm not certain how to answer that either, so... I hope they don't ask me.

As for HELL.... if he didn't hear it from me, he probably heard it on TV.

Blame something else on the media... it wasn't me... I didn't do it. Whew.

Onward back at the ranch....
There are several missions on the slate. In between missing my family and working, I'll be reporting from the battlefield here at the compound.

Gotta go!

Mom's coming over for lunch and then I'm heading out to the barn this afternoon.

March 21, 2002
While you weren't looking, I glanced over the news.

Here's proof we are cracking up...
An iceberg larger than Delaware has broken off Antarctica. The National Ice Center named the berg "B-22." It was discovered through photographs taken by Defense Meteorological Satellites.

FBI OPERATION CANDYMAN has cracked another internet child porn ring. Catholic priests, a police officer, a nurse, a teacher's aide, a school bus driver, a guidance counselor, a foster care parent and professionals in the medical and military fields are among those charged. *Of course, I am incensed and could verbally flagellate these people - but, that could take all day and into tomorrow... two words sum up my feelings about them: sicko fucks*

A big YAY for yahoo in cooperating with this 14 month investigation. But sadly, it leaves me wondering... who can you actually trust? Any growing paranoia is rooted in reality. I'd personally like to crack these people in more than just the ass. But, I'm happy to see that the crackdown on this shit is widening.

The Pope finally cracked open his mouth enough to briefly allude to the current sexual abuse scandals plaguing the Catholic Church... well.... HELLO... ain't it about time? Hmmmmm.... I wonder if God cracked him in the ass.

Little did I know.... we almost cracked up on March 8:
A sizable asteroid zipped near our planet this month without anyone noticing because it traveled through an astronomical blind spot < from the direction of the sun >, and, if it had pierced the earth's atmosphere, the approximately 70-meter-long rock could have disintegrated and unleashed the energy equivalent of a 4-megaton nuclear bomb. The oddsmakers say that the likelihood of a collision is currently 1 in 10 million. * I don't care for the word "likelihood" and, of course, I would have been pissed if it would have happened because of the impact it may have had on my vacation... it does lend credence to the "worse things can happen" theory.*

But, what about that poor girl that got cracked in the head and killed by the hockey puck at the NHL game in Columbus, Ohio? 13 is way too young to die. That sucks.

Falling through the cracks...
Andrea Yates husband. Need I say more? < use your imagination >

Yep.... and, I'm cracking up, too. Not in a laughing way either.

I suppose you thought I was still in the barn, eh? I'm afraid not.

I've been at the office sniffing glue. Not on purpose, but... it's because they installed new carpet there. The kind that gets glued to the floor. VERY unpleasant. I've been nauseated all week and still have a taste in my mouth today.

How many brain cells did that screw up? Gee... and to think... I could have been smoking crack. Well... think again. Of course I wouldn't do that. For one, I can't afford it. For two... if I was cracking anything other than cracking up... it might be a beer. But, I don't feel like that either. Probably too much glue.

OK... I'd better get cracking on something else.

I'll write again after this glue buzz leaves my system.

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March 21st - 10:30 p.m.

OK...
...I think my buzz wore off 'cuz here I am awake and thinking, thinking, thinking.

This is what I'm thinking as I hear the dryer running:
I spend much of my time here alone. Maybe that explains something. Like what, I'm not sure. I'm tired of thinking but can't help it. But, I am very aware of this alone state since I returned from my trip.

Wouldn't you know it.... I'm back at the compound right along with my damn insomnia. The minute I got back sleep has eluded me. I can't seem to shake it. That reality leaves me plenty of extra time to think. Insomnia... my evil twin. BUT.... don't worry. I'm not to the basket case stage quite yet. Lets see.... another week might push me over the edge.

Thinking often keeps me up.

I'm still wondering how I got so much STUFF. I mean, how many times can I go through my belongings? It seems like an endless process... and then there's THIS and THAT and OH YEAH... I FORGOT ABOUT THIS. I'm not done and may never be done. The main goal here is to consolidate my stuff. Compact and consolidate. Organize and ostracize.

This is what happens:
Every time I go to see M and the boys I get looking around at MORE stuff. Their stuff. And it always leads to thinking about: I gotta make room for this stuff.

Panic sets in.

It's only another vicious cycle. Add it to the pile.

I've done this before. How many times now? I dunno. I suppose I could go back and read all about my repetitive crises. I'm certain there is an intricately interwoven theme. Yet, I really don't think there is any need or purpose to analyze it. I don't see it coming until it's gone anyway. Some things in retrospect are like a shitty re-run. I'm waiting for the new episodes.

Therefore and seven sentences ago, now onto another thing...
... this weekend. This weekend I plan to stoke up a big fire in the Outback. Get some nice oak coals going in that woodstove. Hear some fire snapping and smell it, too. I love that.

There's cleaning and sorting to do out there, too. Bonus being it gets me out of the house while the weather is still chilly enough to stoke up a fire. Maybe I'll cook something out there. Hmmmmm.... I'm thinking that I miss doing that. I don't think Tasha would mind it either. She loves laying on the mantle near the stove. Cooking out there certainly wouldn't drive her away.

It seems that lately I've noticed again how far I've come through a difficult time in my life. The last 5 years were tough. There were moments when I thought I'd never feel good again. That I'd never have myself back. I couldn't imagine that things would ever seem "right." When suddenly, I see a part of my past self as if it has been detached from me. What a relief that is. What glory was unleashed from that bondage. Damn.
< goodbye >

I feel good. YEP. Good like the song good. You know.... James Brown good. Complete with that shuffle dance. YEP. I feel good... < da naa da naa da naa da naa DA >.... I knew that I would now....

- - - and then it stops - - -

I did NOT know. I did NOT know that I would feel good again.

HA!

So... no matter what happens... keep moving. Things do have a way of coming around.

Proof that the darkness can teach us something. Sometimes we have to get lost to find something new in ourselves.

March 22, 2002

After four and a half hours of sleep... I return.

Going right along. Home after another ten hour day at the office. Going strong.

I went grocery shopping today before coming home. I don't know what's wrong with people today but, everyone seemed to be moving in slow motion. It was weird. Everywhere I went people seemed to be blocking my way.

After grabbing a few things, I realized that I didn't have my debit card. It took mere seconds to feel complete panic. SHIT! < insert stronger thought expletives right here >

Quickly, I decide to leave the cart and head back out into the parking lot to retrace my steps. Only to find nothing. So, I head back into the store and check with the service desk and, nada again. OK. Don't panic. Don't freak. You can go to the bank after you get out of here. Alright. It's OK because I have cash in my pocket. But, it looks like I'm headed directly to the bank upon leaving. I'll have to cancel the card. OK... so that's settled.

Hurry through the check in line and hand over the cash. And to think I was concerned going to the grocery store hungry.... well, we don't have to worry about that. Nope.

I was having a good day up to that point. Damn it.

The groceries get crammed into the back of the Jeep. I wasn't even careful about it.

When opened the vehicle door, there it was on the floor. < .... the nerve of that sonofabitch anyway >.

OK... now that I'm feeling stressed, what do I do? As I began to drive out of the parking area I thought, "....do I have beer at home?"

Hmmmmm.... yeah. I do. But, it's stuff that I don't like. Stuff the neighbor gave me.

It's Budweiser.

Ewwwwwww. I prefer Killians. OH YEAH! There are a few Killians in there. I feel the stress lifting at the thought.

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- - - - - - - - - - - - - an hour later - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

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There's an empty Killian's bottle on the cupboard. The second one is nearby. Open and untouched.

Life is good.

I'm cooking in the kitchen. The scent is in the air. Chicken burritos. They won't be ready to eat until tomorrow.

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Good things take time.

< try to remember to tell me that next time I whine >

March 29, 2002

Before heading out into the barn for another round of rearranging, I thought I'd drop a few lines into this journal. Later, I'll be putting the sizeable wood scrap pile into some sort of order. If that's even possible. I should make some headway on it today since it is above zero < ;^) > and I have a free day. I didn't realize until a couple of days ago that today was a holiday from the office. What a nice surprise!

UPDATE
Sista and the court system. I haven't mentioned this in quite some time but, she had a court date yesterday. Remember? The one that has dragged on for years: the incident regarding grandparents rights Sista has been fighting ever since her husband died... the one in which the paternal grandmother was alleged to have inappropriate sexual contact with her two grandchildren... GOODGOD! I am still incensed over that scenario. And, if I think about it long enough I could be furious instantaneously. But, the main issue in the court was one regarding "grandparents rights" and, this sick bitch wanting to be able to be alone with the children against my Sista's wishes. Well... you may also recall that the children were sent somewhere to be tested by professionals to determine of anything inappropriate had taken place and, the result was that there had been inappropriate behavior on her part BUT that there wasn't "evidence" enough to prosecute her. So... it came down to the Grandparents rights issue.

ANYWAY... after several court cancellations and many, many days in court, this has finally come to an end. The bitch has NO rights. And... if she calls my Sis or tries to contact the children in any way shape or form, it will be construed as harassment. YEAH! But... DUH at the same time. Why in the world it took this long for this judgement to take place is beyond me. It seems so logical not to send children back to a perpetrator no matter if they are related or not.

In a related issue, the judge had previously ordered the grandmother to pay for the psychological testing of the kids. She agreed because she proclaimed her innocence in court. Well... right before the court date, my Sis was getting threatening letters from a collection agency in regard to this billing. It seems the grandmother had turned the billing in under my Sista's name. Another way to put the screws to her I suppose.... BUT.... the judge ordered that she has 2 weeks to pay the bill AND that she will also be paying some of the legal bills my Sis has accumulated as a result of all this shit. What percentage... we aren't certain, but - the fact that she will have to pay any of it makes us all happy.

At last, this cluster fuck has an ending. Finally, justice was served.

OK... enough of that. Now on to my weekend.

For the next few days I am concentrating my efforts in the barn. On Sunday Dave and my Mom are picking me up at 8:30 a.m. to take a 3 hour drive to go see my brother. Dave and Mom are going to see Dave's Mom who doesn't live far from them. The poor dear lives in a group home and has Alzheimers which is rapidly progressing. Unfortunately, she probably won't remember they are even coming out to see her. And, 5 minutes after they are gone, she won't remember they were there. It's an awful thing to see a once vibrant woman be reduced to this. But, Dave is very dedicated to her nevertheless. That is true love. But, I know this must be so hard for him to see her like this. It's a dreadful affliction but, I truly admire Dave's devotion.

On a happier note... I haven't seen my brother's girlfriend for quite a while and am looking forward to seeing her, too. She and I were friends long before my brother and her got together. They have extensively remodeled their home, and I can't wait to see it. Plus.... my brothers kids will be there with him, too.

I'll be dropped off there for 3 or 4 hours. The 6 hour two-way drive will make it seem like a long day, but... since I rarely escape the compound on the weekend, this will be good for me.

March 30, 2002

I'm exhausted today. Mentally and physically. The complete lack of sleep has caught up with me, along with various other obstacles, misjudements and bullshit. My decision making ability is impaired. But, again... today I'm plugging away in the barn for a few more hours. It'll be a while yet, but... I am getting more organized out there than I have ever been.

Now let me tell you just one of my bullshit stories.

This one is about ebay.

The background:
My Mom had this dagger that she'd been wanting to give me that my Grandfather brought home from the war. I remembered it and upon thinking about it, realized that I didn't want it because it held no sentimental memories for me. Besides that, what in the hell was I gonna do with a big dagger that had a swastika on it anyway? Nothing. And.... knowing nothing about the dagger, aside from Mom wanting to give it to me.... I suggested to her instead that we sell it on ebay and split the money. She said OK.

Little did I know what I was getting into. AND.... little did I know that this item would be in such demand. But, I should have figured considering the fact that WWII memorabilia is collectible. For me, even holding the dagger in my hand gave me the creeps.

So... we put it on ebay and email began to flood in. A bunch of people told me that ebay would pull the item because it was deemed offensive due to the swastika. OK... so then I put a disclaimer on the page and censored the photo. I was selling this as an item of historical interest only, it was not meant to represent hate in any way shape or form on my part. The war happened. You can't sugarcoat that. But.... to many people, the swastika is offensive. Yet... the people that were writing, the vast majority of them, they also wanted to buy the item from me.

Then I get a letter from a guy who doesn't sound like a loon and he writes, "if you want to know anything about the dagger... let me know." Of course, I wrote back and asked him to tell me about it. He did and told me that many people would be interested in it because it was an Early SA Marine Dagger and, that it was more valuable than the regular SA daggers. OK. So now I know more about daggers than I want to know, yet... I was very appreciative of the information. We corresponded a few more times and, in my mind, I wanted this guy - who has been collecting these items for 30 years - to have the dagger. So, ebay would run its course despite warnings I received in my mailbox. He was confident that he would win the auction.

After about 3 days, ebay did pull the listing. OK... that's their right to do so, BUT... several of these daggers had run their course previously and were auctioned off - plus, there were several listed at the same time this one was. I wrote to them and complained, and they wrote me back a cordial response saying that they had received a complaint about the item. OK... but, it only seems right that if they pull mine they pull them all. I know that ebay is a huge site, but... they should have standards in place to disallow these items from being listed in the first place. Seems to me a filtering process would work. Oh, well.

In the few days that the dagger was listed, it generated enough interest that people were writing again yesterday morning wanting to buy the dagger outright and away from the auction. Alright. So, I had potential buyers in place. But, I really wanted to sell it to the guy who clued me in on it in the first place. In fact, one of the other interested parties may have been the complaining culprit who got ebay to remove the listing so they could get it. Still... that was only my suspicion and, well... it really didn't matter. I ended up getting free advertising for the dagger anyway.

Yesterday, I emailed the potential buyers of the dagger and told them all that I would keep them informed on what I've been offered so that everyone would have a shot at it. At 8 pm EST I hoped to close a deal. The nice guy who explained the history of this knife had called me earlier on the phone and offered me 350 dollars for the dagger. OK... so I then wrote back to the other interested parties with his bid.

I informed the guy I talked to on the phone via email that the knife deal would be closed by 8 pm... he responded, so I knew he was aware. And, after wrangling with email for hours... it's coming upon 8 pm and there are now just two people in the running. The guy who supplied me with the info and another guy who wrote me funny emails because he thought I was a man! His banter was full of, "Yo Dude!" and "Brother" along with a "Hey Man" thrown in for good measure. It made me laugh so I did nothing to correct him. Besides... how many women put SA Daggers on ebay? I wouldn't think many. And, that's not a sexist statement. It's a fact.

I sat at the computer writing emails back and forth and "Yo Dude" was chomping at the bit. He wanted it bad. Right before 8, I had heard from the other guy and then... I heard nothing. So... but the time it was 20 minutes after 8... I wrote back the "Brother" and told him he got lucky. He was thrilled! And, I felt a little bad that the other guy wasn't responding to my email. He must have opted out.

The dagger was sold for - get this - 365 and a brand new copy of Windows XP. That's sort of funny but, I can always get rid of the software. Someone I know might even want it. Or, I can sell it.

What was hilarious was when I told "Hey Man" my name and address where he could send the money and software... an e-mail came flying back saying: And all this time you're a GIRL? And here I was calling you DUDE and BROTHER. Oh... ummm... I feel like such a heel.

Now that whole thing cracked me right up! I wrote him back and told him so.

At 8:48 I get an email from the other guy. Basically implying that I somehow OWE him the knife for his kindness... because for whatever reason, he was away from his computer. Now... he wants me to tell the other guy I won't sell it to him. That the other guy would be mad, but... that he would get over it.

Sorry, but I can't do that. It wouldn't be fair or ethical at all. After all, he knew that the bidding was going on until 8 p.m. and, he did not give me the authority to bid for him, nor did he tell me that he would be away from his computer.

What a crock of shit! I hope I never see another dagger again. But, I am happy that the guy who is buying it collects them, too. His collection doesn't span 30 years, but... this will add to it. He's happy and although I am happy for him... but, I'm totally stressed out.

THEN.... another ebay thing:

I had this old harmonica. I don't even recall where it came from. BUT... I've had it for a long time and it's traveled with me through all of my moves. I don't play the harmonica but I kept it packed anyway.

That auction was slated to end last night. The high bid was 225 bucks and there was about an hour to go.

OHMYGOD!

I had to stop the auction.

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Why?

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Because I inadvertently broke the son-of-a-bitch last night.

 
 

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